Editor: Ashleigh Condon

Deadline: February 20^th 2012

Urban Limbo is open to all authors and accepts reprints.

Urban Limbo is a literary magazine focused on dark, urban-themed fiction, and is the product of Ashleigh’s undergraduate degree in Creative And Media Writing. She is looking for stories and non-fiction submissions to be a part of this exciting venture, and that’s where she wants you to get involved.

This magazine tells tales of the dark, gritty underbelly of our modern society; the unthinkable filth in alleyways and backstreets; the mutant children of our broken social order. If you can imagine a world of faceless gangs, of grimy streets, of open sewers and endless smog, of derelict buildings and torturous cries, of feral dogs and relentless, desolate night, then you’re one of us. This is Urban Limbo.

Payment is exposure only. This is a for-the-love deal. Urban Limbo is a student project and won’t be officially published. However, all submissions undergo a serious selection/editing process using industry standards, and feedback may be provided should your piece not make it in.

How to submit:

Short Stories

Note: Ashleigh would love to include foreign writers, but all submissions must be set in/concerning Britain. Stories set in New York might be exciting, but they aren’t relevant here.

Prepare your 1500, to 3,000 words story in a double-spaced, Times or Times New Roman, 12 point, black font Word document with pages numbered (.doc OR rich text format). Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing, do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). UK spelling and grammar (single quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) is required.

Note: Submissions may include gore and sexual content provided they serve a distinct purpose to the piece.

Include your name, email address and 50 word or less bio in the third person to UrbanLimbo@live.co.uk

Flash fiction

Ditto above. 500-1000 words.

Book Reviews:

All horror, Sci-fi and Fantasy sub-genres welcome, providing they relate to the urban theme.

300 words maximum. No self-published novels. Keep opinions tasteful. You don’t have to faun over a book, but keep the author in mind. By all means be edgy and satirical, but rudeness is tacky. Keep it snippy. Provide a link to the book on Amazon or the publishing house.

Film Reviews:

300 words maximum. Indie movies are fine providing they’re official. Give an overview of the plot and sum up your opinion. Keep it snippy.  Provide a star rating between 1-10. Include a link to it on IMDB.

Articles:

500-700 words maximum. Articles can cover arts and culture, the publishing industry, the music industry and the current economy; however, keep the politics to a minimum. No party-bashing. Kindle E-publishing is a favourable topic right now. Include a short bio and link to your blog.

Photography:

Scenes of particularly interesting urban environments needed. Graffiti art, performance art and buskers are favourable. Images must be of a good quality and decent file size. Photo edits are fine, but keep them subtle. No cut-together jobs; photos must be of authentic places. Keep the mood dark and melancholic. Include a short bio and link to your blog.

Please direct any questions/queries to UrbanLimbo@live.co.uk

About the editor: Ashleigh is a geek, currently studying Creative And Media Writing at Middlesex University, UK.

Her hobbies include writing, cartooning, reading, watching movies and being a bodacious bitch. She has previously been published in a number of small press anthologies, and her book/film reviews can be seen online.

O.M.G.

I’m in the middle of my second week at Quercus/Jo Fletcher books (the genre imprint) and I just…God, I can’t even describe how cool it’s been. I’ve learned so much just by sitting there and watching stuff happening – authors being discussed, books getting published. Honestly, my biggest tip to anyone who wants to become an author is this: Go work at a publishing house. You get to see every single iddy biddy detail of how the whole process works, and believe me, if I said I was INSPIRED it’d be an understatement.

Plus, well, if like me you’d like to have a career in publishing (until you sign that bazillion-pound book deal of course) then this is an absolute necessity. That goes without saying of course; you can’t learn any other way. That’s not to say I can now trot off and become an assistant editor – absolutely not. But I now value the concept of work placements so much more than before, and I don’t intend to stop when this is over come Thursday.

On first impressions, walking into this huge glossy corporate-looking building was like being on the set of The Devil Wears Prada, and the office only reinforced that image. (Quercus employees would most probably have a good giggle after reading that last statement) I was overwhelemed by just about everything. You know those huge, trendy-looking glass reception areas with shit loads of space, and glass doors with the company name printed all frosty-like on the front? Yeah, they have that. And inside, they have their own library where they keep all the books they publish, complete with squishy orange chairs.

“All right, Ash,” I hear you say. “They’re just chairs. It’s just a door.” But it was just so much more than that to me. This was glittering opportunity. This was my first glimpse into the world that I so long to be a part of one day. Know what else? I’ve even been told to keep in touch so that I CAN come back someday, whether for another placement or as part of their team if a job ever comes up.

Here’s some stuff I did/learned:

• Proofreading and Copy editing, and the difference between the two!
• Read unsolicited submissions – YES, I have seen the slush pile daily- and wrote reports on my thoughts about the authors’ work, leading to either further interest or a rejection.
• Read both pre-published or agented submissions and wrote reports on them with my thoughts.
• Attended two big board meetings, where they discussed their up-coming authors, submissions they’re persuing, books they’re publishing, how they’re marketing them and how they’re going to market the authors themselves. They also suggested advance payments and, needless to say, I was gobsmacked at some of the figures I heard.
• Learned how they catalogue authors/books and the whole ordering process; even packed them up and mailed them out overseas
• Packed up christmas goodie bags complete with children’s-book-exclusive christmas cards, all ready to shmooze up their buyers.
• Blogged for the website
• Got given free hardback books to read and review (if I have time – I’ve had so many manuscripts thrust at me!) and to KEEP.
• Read the manuscript of a novel coming out soon for a blog post. (yet to be done, of course!)
• Read exclusive bonus material for another book, which I practised proof-reading on.
• Worked on reception (my least favourite, because I’m so clumsy working the telephone) and learned about the whole switchboard majiggy and generally how a receptionist works with a publishing house (they have quite alot of networking duties, and a lot of responsibility involving clients, visitors and mail going in and out of the building).
• Heard pitches from editors and the rights team, discussing their thoughts in board meetings. I’ve also heard many phone calls made involving authors and their contracts, which was fascinating.
• I also get to use the imprint’s twitter page!

Even after all that, I still haven’t covered everything I’ve learned. I think the most important things I taught myself were these:

1) Yes, I CAN get up at the crack of dawn, travel for 1hr 45mins and then do a 9:30-5:30 working day, travel home afterwards, then rinse and repeat. For years I suffered a severely underactive thyroid, and even after treatment I still felt like I couldn’t ever function like a normal working person, purely because I was too exhausted. Well, I’ve proven that I can  – and thus proving every arsehole who ever called me lazy to be wrong!

2) Yes, I CAN enjoy a (mostly) desk-based job. It’s amazing the difference a keen interest can make, you know? I was afraid that I’d be doomed to cleaning toilets all my life simply because desk jobs bored me to tears, and yet this proves that wasn’t the case. Turns out I just can’t push paper around for a company I simply don’t care about, and if that’s true then I’m even more determined to get a job in this industry now. It’s the difference between happiness and bitter disappointment after all.

In all, I just can’t believe the difference between all the activities I have going in my life right now, compared to how depressed and useless I felt months ago. I had no job, no uni, no money and no idea about my future. I never really believed things could change so much, but now I realise how important it is to get motivated and persevere.

The only complaint I have right now is the stinking cold I got over the weekend, and am currently fighting off. That’s just typically me, that is – start something important and come down sick. Well, as it turns out everyone is sick, so rather than do my usual throw-the-towel-in jobby like I did in the past, I actually stuck this out and worked through it. Another lesson learned: never underestimate yourself. Giving up isn’t the sensible option – it’s just the easy one. And after all, we all know the lesson within those lines: nothing worth having is ever easy, and that’s a fact.

Links:

Quercus

Jo Fletcher Books

Jo Fletcher Twitter

Jo Fletcher Blog

Oh, and the assistant editor Nicola, who has been kindly taking time out her busy schedule to give me the work experience, has a charity page. I encourage you all to look at it. She’s going trekking in the Himalayas to raise money for the charity Have A Heart:

Nicola’s Charity page

P.S

And amongst all this, what else is happening this week? Oh yeah.CHRISTMAS! I’ve got all my presents wrapped and ready, and this weekend i’ll be feasting with my family on xmas day. Not only that, but my boyfriend is coming over and we’re gonna exchange gifts, watch Love Actually, and make some general Christmas-related gubbins. Cool much? I think so!

Guess what? Near-enough immediate response, with a contact I could try for, making no promises. Wanna guess something else? They had a place for me.

I was gob-smacked.

I had asked for work experience and, not only did they reply to me very quickly, but they actually offered me two weeks at their publishing house. I actually got what I wanted. This is unbelievable. I’m so used to -and yes, if it sounds Emo it’s because it probably is- rejection and hanging my head in shame that I genuinely anticipated this whole work placement module to be a waste of time.

And it very nearly was. Nearly. You know, there are certain rare people in this world who really will go the extra mile – spare just a little time- to help you. They don’t decide their actions based on common emotional responses, such as For Christ’s sake it’s that girl asking for help again? and Don’t these students realise I have a life outside of Middlesex? for example. They know that, deep down, they really could help someone out; and deep down, they really want to.

I believe my tutor is one of these selfless people. It’s a rare thing to find that quality in a person, let alone a teacher who’s swamped with work and responsibility as it is (and I happen to know this woman is extremely busy 24/7). It’s not just the work placement, though that is good enough. She’s rescued me from a clueless guest lecturer (no offence to the guy, but he actually admitted he hadn’t the foggiest idea how to help me with my independant project, the most important of my degree), rescued me from failing this module, and also teaches my favourite subject: genre fiction. Not only that but she seems to have contacts coming out of her ears – she gave me Stephen Jones’ email for my project!

I dunno, maybe I’m being a little dramatic here, but I just can’t go without mentioning that if it wasn’t for her being so patient and helpful, I would be floundering about like a fish out of water right now. Thanks and much love to her!

In other news…

• Did I MENTION I have a work placement? It’s this month. *Deep exhale* Oh please, please, please let me, let me, let me….Let meeeee….Not fuck it uuuuuup this time. *Dreamy Morrissey voice*
• Work is going swimmingly, though I peed them off by cancelling two (very short) shifts in favour of doing the work placement at Quercus/Jo Fletcher books. Well duh, guys – I could scrub toilets or get a chance to experience work in a real, genuine, bonified, one-hundred-percent-certified publishing house. A mother-fudging-PUBLISHING HOUSE with an editor who has worked with mother-fudging TERRY PRATCHETT and CHARLAINE-FRICKIN’-HARRIS and my all-time favourite JOE-FRIGGEDY-HILL!. Mmyeah, I think I know where I’d rather be spending my time.
• I swear I’ve been putting on weight. Having such an active job might trim the waist, but when you’re a girl who thinks “Oh great that means I can eat more Maltesers!” the exercise doesn’t tend to make much difference. Oops.
• Short sips is due out soon, with my story “Awakening Masami” between the covers. Emailed the proofs back to them the other day.
• Still waiting for a response from Women’s Weekly; let’s hope for good news.
• At work the other day an old and apparently senile old guy mocked me. I offered him tea and coffee, which he replied with a long rambling story about nothing in particular, and repeated a second time when I asked him just to confirm if that meant he’d like tea or coffee. Then the nurse comes in and asks him the same questions again, much louder thsi time, to which he immediately replies with “Tea and two sugars please!”. FFFUUUUUU-
• I’ve hardly seen hide nor hair of my boyfriend Matt, who has been swanning about in the local papers with his labour party malarkey, getting his photo taken and everything. Honestly, it’s just like being married to Brad Pitt (and by that I mean it’s NOTHING like being married to Brad Pitt) He’s just in such high demand now, my little activist. How does Angelina put up with Brad when he’s away doing important things? Hm. Maybe the little Philippino housemaid handles the husband-missing emotional side of the marriage. Yeah, I think that’s more likely. Where can I purchase a nurturing Philippino house maid?
• Speaking of shit actresses, I watched an amazing 1951 movie the other day – A Street Car Named Desire to be precise- and it was just so wonderful I could’ve wept. Why the fuck don’t they make movies like that anymore? I know it was a play by Tennessee Williams, but the actors really made that movie. We need more Marlon Brandos and Vivian Leighs, please.

I did my first shift at the hospital as a domestic, fighting germs one mop at a time. Seriously, we have to switch mop heads so they don’t become infested with germs and gross stuff, and then we go collect them from the dungeon/linen rooms downstairs and get fluff all over our cheap polyester uniforms.

I loved it. Seriously, it was good fun, and I got the hang of it quickly. I was placed with a lovely guy who was very patient and chatty with me, and naturally he made the whole process a lot less scary for yours truly. I know that in time i’ll have my bad days, but I like to think i’ll remain this possitive. It’s all about the attitude, yo.

The hospital is bloody amazing. Did you know criminals get security around their beds to keep an eye on them? I didn’t. Learnt it today. Did you know domestics clean the mortuary and get full view of the autopsies? I didn’t. Learnt that today too.

There’s always something epic going on everywhere in this environment. I’m new to it so, naturally, i’m fascinated by everything. Crazies and criminals and brains and long dark corridoors will certainly become the norm for me in time, but I hope it never stops inspiring me. Honestly, every corner holds something write-able. It’s great.

Anyway, I plan to work weekends for the good pay, do uni and lots of writing during the week, and spend the rest of my time with my family and sweetie boyfriend. Friends every now and then of course, now that I can afford a social life. Months ago I was seriously depressed about my inability to get a job, and I struggled with my own self-worth to a degree much larger than i’m used to. I was going out of my mind. Now look at me! I’ve got a job, i’ve got some great work going on for my final uni project, and my relationships are all on the rise.

OK, so i’m not a serious author yet, and i’m not some flashy junior editor. But i’m not a depressed bum anymore either, and i’m not completely hopeless.

It’s not the dream, but it’s something.

In other news:

• My frantic and fruitless search for writing-related work experience landed me a promise of some work getting published in a local magazine come February. I’ll be flashing my opinions off in a published article to the locals – OoO!
• Sent out a submission to Women’s Weekly. No idea what the pay is; don’t care either. I’m hoping my lame-ass chick-lit story gets in. I’m nothing if not diverse, people.
• Reading Girl, Interrupted. It’s really cool. Very short, fast-paced accounts. Wonderful stuff.
• Obsessed with Six Feet Under. Oh I love it so much!
• Finished the paper editing of the huge 91k jobby. Must crack on with the official computer edit, but it’s such a huge task and i’m not sure how best to balance my time for it yet. Don’t want to rush things, after all.
• Planning a genre fiction magazine for my final project at uni, and have already interviewed two awesome editors – Stephen Jones and Terry Martin (awaiting one other) to help me with my research. Genre guys are the nicest and most helpful in the business, I swear.
• Searching for a work placement is going horribly, but i’m going to keep calm. If i freak out now, i’ll freak out all over the place; everything and everyone will suffer. Must keep cool. You’re a grown-up now, Ash; periods aren’t an excuse anymore.

…Sometimes.

I just read the first “short story” in Charlaine Harris’ A Touch Of Dead.

It was a pile of wank. I bought this collection for just £1 in a charity shop and I feel robbed. Talk about a hastily-scrawled money spinner! It’s like she just jotted it on the back of a napkin and sold it as-is. In fact, I’ll bet that’s exactly how it happened.

Makes me a little sick how little pride some authors take in their work. Sure, it’s a spin-off book from the already over-produced series, but does it have to be so poorly written? Do the stories have to be so dull and eventless? Does it have to read like a cheap money spinner, just because, at its core, that’s what it was proposed to be?

I feel sorry for the Trueblood fans who shelled out a whopping £12.99 for a brand new copy of this book in Waterstones. I shit you not. It costs £12.99 and the author couldn’t even be bothered to write it with some clarity. I don’t know whether to blame her or the publisher for thinking this’d do. It doesn’t cut it at all, but the shame is it’ll still sell. I don’t know why writers of Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance have to get contracted for 100+ books in a series, but people seem to enjoy collecting them. I guess this short story book is just another must-have for the set, but if you ask me, the set isn’t worth having.

Funnily enough, in the same charity shop, I saw a collection of the Sookie Trueblood books right up to the last one I read. Looks like someone else got bored at the same time I did!

In other news:

• No news back about the internships I applied for. It’s early days but I’m not as hopeful as I want to be.
• Wrote a piece for wednesday; Romance fiction. I am not looking forward to my classmates reading this. It’ll be the first in a long time, so that’s nerve-wracking enough, but it’s also in one of the trickiest genres. Love stories might be easy, but writing good ones that don’t suck the big one? That’s hard.
• The Rats is going good; loving it. I’m saving it for the train journey on Wednesday so I have something to do.
• I’ll let you know how the rest of A Touch Of Dead goes once I get around to finishing it. I could read it all now in one sitting, because it’s not exactly dense despite the pages it takes up, but i’m afraid my brain might turn to mush if I do!

It’s bloody gruesome, isn’t it? That dirty man. I got halfway through the book whilst commuting to and from uni via train today, and I have to say, it’s been a hoot. No wonder this was an instant best-seller. It’s absolutely gruesome, and so eerily realistic that I found myself lifting my feet up whilst on the tube, just in case one of his giant black rats came and gave me a fatal nibble. Apparently he’s an East-end lad, so that explains the great regional details that make this book so frighteningly real.

It certainly beats Twilight.

Got lots of editing done yesterday and this morning, and I’m about to go off and do some more now before beddie-boes. I’ve held off from writing short stories lately – don’t kill me, Stephen King!- but I’ll be resuming that pretty soon because of my uni course. I know it isn’t wise to let my other writings fall by the wayside just because I’ve been writing my first proper novel, but as a beginner, I felt like I couldn’t afford to set it aside and think about anything else. Right now I’m just amazed that I got to the end of it, and that my editing and re-reading so far hasn’t made me burst into tears for how awful it is…Yet.

In other news, I’m currently looking for internships/work experience in publishing houses and literary agencies. So far it’s been a bit rubbish, but that’s only because I’m awful at finding places to match my skills and interests. A lovely woman – who happens to be an agent- has just helped me out rather alot by sending me some very exciting looking opportunities to apply for. I just want to say this, though – I swear I’m not lazy! It’s just my previous efforts have resulted in some snarky phone calls which closed alot of doors for me, purely because I was so put-off by some peoples’ attitude to me wanting to come work for them. For free too! PAH!

Anyway, I really need this to work out. If I don’t get responses by email after about a week I’m going to have to start pestering them on the phone, which is always…Fun. Not. More like collecting data for a socilogical study on “Nitwits who can’t be bothered with students ringing up, asking to come shuffle their papers and make them cups of tea”. I don’t blame them exactly, but this could be the difference between me actually having a career in the future, or being doomed to pump out babies and live off the social for the rest of my life. (I’d never do that – I’d probably just be a bum in my parents’ house, doing my cleaning job full time. Niiice.)

• Watched Poltergeist for the first time the other night. Fucking loved it. Never realised that film had influenced so many contemporary horror flicks! The Six Sense being the most prominent, I feel.
• Going to carve pumpkins this weekend and see Paranormal Activity. I bet it sucks the big one, but I feel compelled to give every horror film a try none the less.
• I’m interested in reading some Urban Fantasy novels, but I’m a bit intimidated by the huge range out there. I’m also afraid of picking up some utter shite, so I’d like some help; can anyone recommend some awesome, ORIGINAL Urban Fantasies which aren’t about highschool vampires? Let me know.
• Read this article in the Guardian and I’m unsure about how serious it is. As a “recoverring goth” (lol), I’m rather offended by it. Goth is more an attitude and way of perceiving the world, I feel, than just wearing killer boots. It’s definitely obvious that this guy doesn’t really know anything about alternative cultures. It’s like he’s describing Ants or something…Not much of a sociological study, that’s for sure. Goths are humans too, yo. They aren’t just society’s intriguing little gremlins…Or are they?

I really do get a tiny bit terrified when I acknowledge the awful truth of this situation…I’ve only got this year left to prove myself. It’s come on so bloody fast and I don’t feel prepared for anything. All I can hope is that my final project gets me a decent grade and that I somehow don’t end up throwing myself despairingly and half-heartedly in front of a passing milk float.

But really, I’m shitting myself. I wrote this 91k-thing over summer, currently editing, and it could be just another load of bollocks that gets tossed in the draw. It’s funny how optimistic one can be when one is blissfully typing away at a big piece of work like that, and yet when it’s actually finished, and we’re faced with the bare truth of it, suddenly all hope goes out the window.

I don’t know what to do about all this, except to just trundle on with life like I always have…And hope something miraculous happens to me. It’s a cliché I know, but it’s just so crap when you know there’s something you’ve got to be, but you have no fucking clue what it is; if I have so much as an inclin’, even that could just be the stuff of dreams that’ll never come true. All I can do is work and hope it pays off this year…Somehow.

I know I’m panicking. I know it’s normal. I just never thought I’d be facing it so damn soon.

My first two weeks as a commuter went swimmingly, even if I did catch a rotten cold, snotted all over some poor dude sitting next to me (not really but it felt like it) and was sandwiched, at one point, between a snob and a psycho for an hour and ten minutes.

It’s been interesting.

Anyway, I’ll get onto my next lot of waffle, and I warn you…It’s…Urgh, there’s no easy way to say this.

It’s Twilight.

I saw Eclipse and Breaking (wind) Dawn in a charity shop for £1 each, so I thought might as well purchase them. I’ve read the first two books after all, and to not finish the saga would make a mockery of the whole point of reading them – which was to form an opinion. An opinion, by the way, completely devoid of any outside influences; purely my own thoughts, and nothing paying lip-service to the trendy-I-hate-Twilight-band-wagon or the -Marry-me-Edward-I-want-your-sparkly-shlong societies.

So seeing as I’ve already read Tipping The Velvet, which is the first book on my reading list for genre, I thought I might as well spend the time reading some trash. After all, we are reading Romance genres right now (I’m talking Mills and Boon here, the works) and Twilight is romance. Plus I’ve gotta read some other books for other genres, and I’ll undoubtedly begrudge doing that just ’cause I’m not reading on my own terms, no matter how good the books are. Every not want to read something just ’cause you’re forced to? Yeah, petulant.

So I’ve reached Chapter 10 of Eclipse. Here are my thoughts:

• I’ve realised that -hypothetically speaking- I would still be “Team Jacob”. He’s one of the few absolutely believable characters in the whole saga, and I love him despite myself. Nice job Meyer!
• Edward gets even worse on the string-vest-wife-beater front. He actually stops Bella from seeing Jacob by kidnapping her, which she doesn’t object to in any big way, naturally. Just…urgh. Bella’s as much of a little princess as she’s always been! No backbone, total blank canvas. Infuriating. Bad job, Meyer!
• The whole “Charlie’s a stupid man who can’t cook or clean” thing gets all the more irritating in Eclipse. Bella spends most of her time elbow-deep in suds dreaming about the day Edward makes her a sparkle-vamp and takes her away to be his housewife in Alaska, leaving poor Charlie to his microwave and a step-by-step guide to turning the washing machine on.
• “Reverie”, “Grimace”, and a whole host of unnecessary adverbs are making very frequent appearances again! Apart from being plain annoying, it’s also rather disruptive to read the same descriptions, adverbs and dialogue tags over and over again, sometimes repeated on the very same page. I feel like she’s just shooting herself in the foot, despite the fact that she’s made some obvious progress writing-wise since book 1.
• The dialogue is so cheesy. Again, the only character who sounds remotely plausible is Jacob, and I’m not sure how she’s managing this. I can only imagine he’s based quite heavily on somebody she’s very familiar with in real life, where as all the others are cookie-cutter-people from her imagination. I’m not sure. All I know is this: Edward turns into Conway Twitty more than a few times, and I’m not kidding. He should write some country songs with that lovin’ tongue of his. Cripes, I actually blushed when he very lamely lulls Bella to sleep with his Twittyness.
• The images she describes are, at times, too funny to ignore. Imagining the faces is just damn hilarious…Alice and Edward, according to Meyer’s description of them, do very good impressions of a snarling Chihuahua when they get angry. I may even draw a picture to illustrate the image such a description conjures up.
• EVERYBODY IS GOOD LOOKING. The Rosalie part tipped me over the edge. “Blah blah blah, I was so perfect before the super-doctor made me a vampire, blah blah blah, it’s not that you aren’t heavenly as well Bella, because you are, just like everyone else in this novel blah blah blah”. FuckinghellaretherenofatpeoplewithspotsinForks?! Why does Meyer think guys have to have an “Adonis body” and the girls have to be “Carved from ice” to be likeable?! Jesus H. One thing I don’t like about Jacob is how he’s pretty much described as a 100ft tall  Native American, with abs, on a motorbike. Come on, pull the other one Meyer.
• On a good note, the plot’s a little racier and much faster paced than the previous books. If I go by the patterns of the previous books, however, it’s due to slow right down and get very boring indeed. I’m hoping it won’t.
• Finally, -and I can’t believe I’m saying this- It’s not too bad so far. Yes, it’s cheesy, and annoying, and poorly written in some cases, but for some reason I’m still wanting to read on. I have a theory on this, though it isn’t original and has been touched upon before – it’s that alluring classic love story. Think Jane and Mr. Rochester…Elizabeth and Darcy. Catherine and Heathcliff. (Statement: Don’t get me wrong – 2D Bella and Edward CANNOT be compared to those classic characters; I’m just talking in terms of concepts and ideas here. The bare bones of it all.)Something about it just makes me want to read on, even if it is a bit daft. The sell-ability factor comes in here most prominently, I think, because at heart most girls like a simple love story, and we’re willing to endure utter crap just to see it through to the end…Whether it’s worth it or not. Well, we shall see.

I’ll probably update you with my hasty thoughts as I read along, but that’s basically what crossed my mind whilst reading up to chapter 10. I’m still intrigued about the whole Twilight phenomenon…I genuinely am interested in reading these books to see what the fuss is about. I’ve also found myself becoming interested to read Meyer’s “The Host”, which has had much better feedback than Twilight. I’d be interested to see her progress, seeing as she began this whole thing as a novice…But I’m not sure I can give this woman much more commitment than I already am.

What can I say? My eyes are opening…

The article isn’t just me waffling on. There are general tips for writing beginners and publishing beginners, but best of all i’ve provided a series of links so you can bookmark the page and have it all to hand whenever you like. Smart huh?

Anyway, here’s the article arseholes: Short Story Writers

Like it or lump it.

Second Coming

Waterborne

Mushrooms at the End

By Matthew S. Dent

The car sped along the road, with moonlight streaming in through the windows. Ahead and behind, the long straight road was empty, and on both sides the desert was still.

In the front Mummy and Daddy were arguing. The radio was on. Casey could only hear odd bits of their conversation. It wasn’t very interesting- she would much rather read her book.

Mummy had gotten it out of the library for her. Casey had read it over and over. It was about mushrooms.

‘Damnit Steve, we can’t just…’ Mummy shouted. The singer on the radio cut her off. She sounded angry. Tears prickled Casey’s eyes. She focused even harder on her book, tracing the words with her fingers.

Daddy had cooked her mushrooms for the first time last week. She liked the way they had tasted, all meaty, bursting open as she chewed. She loved mushrooms.

‘Mummy, can we-’

‘Not now sweetie,’ Mummy answered before she had finished her question. She had been going to ask if they could have mushrooms at the end of their journey. Mummy was smiling, but in that way that grown-ups do which isn’t really a smile. ‘Mummy and Daddy are busy. Read your book.’

She turned back to Daddy, who said something Casey couldn’t hear. It made Mummy angry again.

Casey went back to her book. There was a picture of a mushroom- a red one with white spots. Casey couldn’t read its name. She traced the letters with her finger instead. It was poisonous, which meant that it was one of the ones that she mustn’t eat.

‘…had to get out of there! You know what will happen if- Marianne, turn that goddamn thing off!’

Mummy pushed the big round button which turned off the radio, and the song stopped. The man had been singing about how he felt fine. Casey liked that.

Without the radio, everything was too quiet. All she could hear was the car’s engine. There wasn’t any sound outside. She wondered if there were coyotes in the desert. She wondered if cactuses tasted like mushrooms.

She looked out of the window. There were so many stars in the sky. She’d never seen so many stars before. There were hardly any stars back in the city. And now there were so many.

And then they were gone. Without warning, everything was bright and sunny, like it was day. Then there was a giant boom, and the ground shook like an earthquake. Daddy said a naughty word, and the car screeched to a stop.

The light faded, back to night, and the stars came back. Mummy and Daddy both looked back along the road they had come down. They looked scared.

Casey looked over her shoulder and gasped. Right behind them, rising up into the black sky, blocking out the stars, a giant mushroom. It was grey, and red, and orange, and was growing as she watched.

‘Drive!’ Mummy hissed, looking at Daddy. He was still looking at the giant mushroom. Mummy hit him on the arm. ‘Drive, Steve!’

The car sped off down the road again. There were more flashes, more rumbling earthquakes, and then more giant mushrooms blossoming all around them. Casey giggled and clapped, delighted to be racing through a fantastical field of mushrooms.